| by MassachusettsJustice of the Peace & Notary Public Carol J. Merletti |
| Bride and Groom facing their guest during the ceremony: During the many weddings that I have attended before becoming a Justice of the Peace, I often wondered why the officiant faced the guests, while the bride and groom had their backs towards them when exchanging the most important aspect of their wedding ceremony – their vows. It always appeared strange to me. When guests are taking pictures, they want to see the beaming faces of a bride and groom when they look back at the pictures that they have taken, and not the face of the officiant that they will never see again. I decided to test this theory with my clients, and to this day, they have all agreed that it made more sense for them to be facing their family and friends. Why on earth would people want to take pictures of me? At all of the weddings that I have performed to date, when I announced this, people were always pleasantly surprised that I suggested this arrangement, and agreed that it just made sense. To picture how this looks, you need to know that you are not directly facing your guests. The bride and groom are on a slant facing each other, while your officiant is on the side of you, on a slant as well, and not having his or her back to your guests. This way, if you are an emotional or nervous couple, you can avoid this by focusing on each other, and focusing on me. While I cannot look at you the whole time, as I am reading your vows, as all vows are different, so I can't not possibly remember your vows by heart, I am looking up and down throughout the ceremony. But the point is, that if the three of us only focus on each other, you won't lose it! And if you do, so be it! That is natural and perfectly O.K. Of course, this is just an option for the bride and groom and not something that they must do. But it is something to think about. Unique idea beyond tradition: Box, Wine & Love Letter Ceremony While there are so many traditions that a couple can incorporate into their wedding vows, such as the Unity Candle, The Rose Exchange, and many more, there is one special idea that I have recently learned about from my dear friend, Richard Carson (Thanks Rich!) who attended a wedding in Holland. While he was not sure if it was a Dutch tradition, nor did he know the wording for this particular ceremony (to which I created my own.) he found it to be extremely touching. When he returned to the states, he could not wait to share this with me. Basically the JP or officiant asks the couple getting married to find a strong wooden box that will hold two bottles of wine and two wine glasses. The couple is then asked to each write a letter to one another, expressing their thoughts about the good qualities that they found in their future partner and their reasons for falling in love with each other. Under no condition can they read each other’s letter. They are to seal them and put them in the box with the wine and glasses. Upon finalizing the wedding ceremony, the officiant will announce to the guests that he / she had asked the couple to write letters to each other and put them in the box with the wine and glasses. The officiant will explain that should the couple ever find their marriage in serious trouble, before making any irrational decisions, they must open the box, drink wine together, and read the letter that they wrote to one another to reflect on why they fell in love with each other in the first place. The hope is that there will never be a reason to have to open the box, unless of course, it is for a 10th year anniversary! (This is not meant to have a negative tone by any means as some may perceive it to be. It is meant to only be positive and in my ceremonies is worded as such. In this day and age, it is only "too common" to give up too easily in a marriage -- Just take a look at Hollywood.) At the wedding in Holland, members of the wedding party were handed nails to hammer the box shut. However, I do not use the hammer and nails, and ask the couple to just close the box or latch it instead of using a hammer and nails.) This is only a suggestion, but I just think that it makes the ceremony extra special for the couple. Truthfully, I find this to be the most romantic (and coolest!) addition to incorporate into a marriage ceremony. Not that my husband and I needed to do this (well o.k., maybe sometimes!), but I wish that we had. It would have been fun opening it up on our 10th, 15th, 20th, or 25th Anniversary! All joking aside, I simply cannot tell you just how popular this has become. And I simply cannot express enough just how much it is better to NOT TELL YOUR GUEST / FAMILY MEMBERS / WEDDING PARTY that you are doing this! Every ceremony that I have officiated over with this being incorporated into their vows has been nothing but a huge surprise and hit! People actually cry. They are overwhelmed and pleased to have been a witness to something so unique and different at a wedding ceremony. My clients have been extremely creative with their boxes by putting foam inside to raise up and support their wine glasses and their wine. They have also lined the inside with satin or silk material. Not only have they put their letters to each other, their wine and their glasses, in their box, but they included CDs of their favorite music, favorite pictures of themselves together, etc. One ceremony that I officiated over had every member of their wedding party also put a letter in the box expressing their feelings about the couple. Having said that, I am always excited about seeing each and every box when I arrive at their ceremony. They are always uniquely made. One couple turned their box into a coffee table made out of three different kinds of wood. (Please see some picture samples below.) The Officiant would say the following: ( EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY - SEPTEMBER 20, 2006, PLEASE CONTACT ME DIRECTLY FOR THE WORDING FOR THIS CEREMONY) Unfortunately, due to the continuous pirating of work that I, Carol J. Merletti, www.weddingofyourdesire.com ” have written for the WINE, BOX AND LOVE LETTER CERMONY on other wedding websites, without my permission, or giving me the credit to my copyright wording for this particular ceremony, I have been forced to remove this from my website. I simply cannot tell you just how much this has upset me since my website has been up-and-running. I am truly upset over this and dishearten by the dishonesty of others. When I posted this on my website, it was meant, and only meant, to help couples think about how they could make their wedding vows “unique” and “different”, and to incorporate something into their wedding vows that was different from most ceremonies. It was never meant for other wedding websites to remove my work and take credit for my work. Therefore, effective immediately, if you wish to know about the particular, special, and unique wording to be included in your wedding vows, you are most welcome to contact me directly at carol@weddingofyourdesire.com, or at 781-322-8857 -- Author, Carol J. Merletti -- |



| (c) Copyright – Carol J. Merletti – Weddingofyourdesire.com. All rights reserved. The information on this page may not be reproduced, republished or mirrored, in whole or in part, on another webpage or website without the expressed written consent of the copyright holder and is strictly prohibited by International Copyright Law. |




| (c) Copyright – Carol J. Merletti – Weddingofyourdesire.com. All rights reserved. The information on this page may not be reproduced, republished or mirrored, in whole or in part, on another webpage or website without the expressed written consent of the copyright holder and is strictly prohibited by International Copyright Law. |








| Carol J. Merletti |









